“Empty vessels don’t last!” (barrels of nothingness)—-What once held water so tightly, now has leaks, and eventually will lose all.”
Not all barrels are able to withstand pressure. My barrels held water,but it wasn’t from my doing. It was of something I saw, was impressed over, and kept in my barrel. Wasn’t tested for any toxicity, pH level,etc.,I just coveted what I thought I could use as a formidable foundation in order to evaluate who I was. So I let that water flow where it would eventually take the form of my barrel. Water can be formless,until it enters its stolen domain. It stole my domain,and carved another identity. Was that me?
AN ELUSIVE CHANGE
“In my barrel there was an “elusive” change taking place. I felt it, and desired to re-route it,but that water felt good. It made me think I was gliding towards what was intended for me,..just for me. What I had latched onto was some very uncommon growth of a bacteria I’d like to call, being useful, and like-able for whomever needed to flush their barrels clean. I gave way to some refractive errors of not focusing on the who are what I allowed to use my own barrel to bathe in,and leave their dirty water for me to clean up. Blinded by dust storms, and droughts. How long does this have to go on? Where was I?
IDEA: “Bigger Barrels?”
“I’ll need bigger barrels,that way I can be me,and let them be the water to guide me!” Huh? How is that being me? How is carrying someone else’s dirty water,being me?
That is so out of order! Why would I try to handle someone’s flow of water in whatever state their in,..other than myself,,..and whatever places that they are in,is not what my barrels are for. Yes, I went from barrel to barrels,because as I write I start to realize that there are too many barrels that I have managed to take on, and that I am not even on the dock where I should be. So to think I need bigger barrels,or more barrels is ridiculous. This place where I am waiting to reinvent myself is unfamiliar,and I put myself here.
I have been true to everyone but myself. In fact I have lied to myself on many occasions, in thinking that I can handle my barrels if I allowed people,places, sites,sounds,and situations to make me,..me. Re-inventing,and re-evaluating was a must. But not without guidance. I am talking about guidance from my Creator. There shouldn’t be barrels filled with all things unusable, and uselessness, of another person,pace or thing’s making. Those barrels of toxic matter cannot be my destiny. And I have let all but one barrel be removed from my path. The only one needed is the one that I am glad to have filled with life sustaining,life-giving,path sorting,continual flowing,spiritually thirst-quenching, identity replacing water,which will never bend me out of order. So now I can truly say that I would be full, and filled,and never again a carrier of anything not my own flow!!!